![]() There’s no reason to feel obligated to return to environments where you or your children will be physically or psychologically unsafe. “You can ask for people’s input, but it might not be possible to make everyone happy,” Bojerski says. The solution: Create a rotating schedule. “We spent so much time driving and counting minutes wherever we were that we decided never again,” Sillers says. mom Jessica Sillers and her husband felt obligated to visit both sets on in-laws on Thanksgiving and Christmas. You get it: Your kids are sweet as pumpkin pie and everyone wants a piece (and not some other time of year).īecause their families live close by, Washington, D.C. The problem: You’re splitting time between in-laws “If child care’s not an issue - and you really want to see your parents, you might consider visiting by yourself,” Bojerski says.īut if you can’t go, Bojerski adds, that’s really OK, too. ![]() “I’d love to go home for the holidays, but my son’s school schedule doesn’t allow it,” says Sandra Grauschopf, of Washington, D.C. Having time off is an important highlight of the holidays, but not getting time off far enough in advance or having to work on the big day can put a kink in travel plans. The problem: You have scheduling dilemmas We feel safer in our own space.” VERONICA BOJERSKI, CHILD AND FAMILY PSYCHOTHERAPIST 4. “Going home can trigger old roles,” says Bojerski. Rather than feeling frenzied by the hustle, bustle and drama, Netter says, “Christmas is about my son.” New Orleans mom Sarah Netter drew the line when her son was 2. The holidays are supposed to be a relaxing and joyful time, but according to the Mayo Clinic, the dizzying demands of the holiday season - parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, just to name a few - can lead to stress and depression. “Have the kids send homemade gifts that everyone opens together,” she says. Bojerski suggests families connect over an app like Skype or FaceTime. Thanks to technology, we can all be together without leaving home. ![]() “If we’re lucky enough to be together for the holidays, we do our own thing.” My husband is on active duty,” says Sheila Nichols, from Washington, D.C. The thought of negotiating icy roads with a cranky toddler in tow can make a white Christmas sound a little less magical - and for families who already travel a lot, the obvious answer to long-distance invitations is “no thanks.” “Coming up with creative strategies and solutions are acts of kindness,” says Bojerski. The solution: Travel during alternate dates or at another time of the year. “But three round-trip flights from Denver to Miami in December will cost you near or more than $1,000.” “If I were flying solo, that’s one thing,” Blossom says. For Priscilla Blossom, a mom from Denver, Colorado, the high cost makes traveling at the holidays not worth it. ’Tis the season when plane, train and bus tickets are at their most expensive. “While you may be scared of not meeting your parents’ expectations of a holiday, you’re the adult, and as an adult child, you are not responsible for meeting your parents’ emotional needs.” VERONICA BOJERSKI, CHILD AND FAMILY PSYCHOTHERAPISTīelow, parents reflect on seven common reasons they stay put instead of traveling home for the holidays, while Bojerski provides actionable tips on how to tell Grandma and Grandpa ”no.” 1. ![]() “While you may be scared of not meeting your parents’ expectations of a holiday, you’re the adult, and as an adult child, you are not responsible for meeting your parents’ emotional needs,” Bojerski says. By the time the kids are reaching 2 and 3 years old, Bojerski says, parents often feel the need to create their own traditions at home and want to avoid the high cost and major hassle of traveling or dealing with dysfunctional extended families during the holidays with kids. The decision whether or not to go home for the holidays can be a tough one for new parents especially, says Veronica Bojerski, child and family psychotherapist, licensed professional clinical counselor and owner of Season’s Practice in Broadview Heights, Ohio. Of course, that doesn’t mean mom and dad will be happy with your choice - particularly if you have kids. Whether it’s avoiding family drama or simply saving funds, sometimes you’ve got to stay put and skip the yuletide cheer. We’ve all heard the old adage: There’s no place like home for the holidays.
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